After one night of wondering what a real or good friendship is, I found an article that created questions you can ask yourself how close a friend is to you. Although these question may not exactly determine if a friendship is good or not, they can help you realize the strengths and weaknesses of your friendships. These are the questions and my analysis of them:
Do I feel better after spending time with this person?
If someone brings your mood up, we are more likely to want to be around them or think about them regardless if they feel the same about us. If someone were to make us feel down consistently we obviously wouldn’t try to spend a lot of time with them. Someone who makes you happy will make you forget about your problems and at the moment they make you smile, you live in the present like no other time.
Do I feel free to be myself around this person?
People who are possessive are not looked up to in our society and in relationships. We consistently like to feel we have our own freedom that no one should take away. Someone who makes us act like an altered version of ourselves can be the result of being uncomfortable around that person. Do you feel naturally yourself around them or worried about being who you are?
Do I feel safe, or do I feel like I have to watch what I say and do?
Everyone has different sensitivities and different beliefs that can lead to them being upset. When we don’t trust someone, we often hesitate to tell them something important or personal. Feeling safe around someone and trusting them are closely connected. If we don’t trust someone with personal information, we feel like they will hurt us rather than helping us.
Do I feel better after spending time with this person?
If someone brings your mood up, we are more likely to want to be around them or think about them regardless if they feel the same about us. If someone were to make us feel down consistently we obviously wouldn’t try to spend a lot of time with them. Someone who makes you happy will make you forget about your problems and at the moment they make you smile, you live in the present like no other time.
Do I feel free to be myself around this person?
People who are possessive are not looked up to in our society and in relationships. We consistently like to feel we have our own freedom that no one should take away. Someone who makes us act like an altered version of ourselves can be the result of being uncomfortable around that person. Do you feel naturally yourself around them or worried about being who you are?
Do I feel safe, or do I feel like I have to watch what I say and do?
Everyone has different sensitivities and different beliefs that can lead to them being upset. When we don’t trust someone, we often hesitate to tell them something important or personal. Feeling safe around someone and trusting them are closely connected. If we don’t trust someone with personal information, we feel like they will hurt us rather than helping us.